Says Jane of the Jungle: "You'd better laugh or you'll croak too soon. Stay on the upside of the downside: don't be in a hurry to get old. Have adventures, behave badly, don't give a fart or a hurrah what the world thinks of you, and slide over the finish line with a sh*t eating grin."

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

HALLMARKS OF OLD FARTITUTDE 102: One response to brokitude...

1. Baby we’re broke. My retirement account went bust in the market.
We can sell the house.
We can give it back to the bank with a thank you note.
We’ll get Social Security.
As long as it’s there, let's dig it!

2. It’s cold here in the woods.
The campfire’s nice.
The supper you cooked on it was the best ever.
I’m cold.
It’s warm in the truck.
I’ll set up the bed.
I took Viagra.
Cold? What cold?

1.     3. My hair is greasy. We don’t bathe enough.
There’s a truck stop with showers!
We can’t go from truck stop to truck stop. It’s boring.
Too much like back when we were working.
Let’s shave our heads.
Uh….I don’t really need to.
Hand me your razor.

2.     4. What color do you want your head?
I told you, that paisley print I picked out.
Okay tattoo guy, go for it.
You guys ‘ll never get jobs again, if you go ahead with this.

3.     5. I really would like to bathe more often.
Me too. There has to be a solution.
Why don’t we winter near southern lakes?
Good idea. And we’ll summer near northern lakes.
Now that we don’t have hair, bathing is a lot easier.
Just pour the soapy water into the plants, it’s good for them.

4.     6. I like that tattoo on top of your head. Since I’m taller, I can always see it.
And I like the one you had done on your butt. Since your pants slide down your skinny ass, I can always see it.
It says, “I love you.”
It says, “I love you.”

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