The world is crazier than most people know. But I know. I was a clinical social worker for forty years. I am a witness. I retired from social work to write about the sad, the mad, and the savage; with whom I have spent most of my life. I have decided to translate these stories into fiction, because, as a co-worker once said, "You couldn't make this sh*t up. No one would believe you."

Sunday, July 18, 2010

ARE WE UGLY?


I just read a post from a youngster, see Pre-Life Crisis, in which two young women visiting a bar populated by "old" folks (50+) were repelled by the notion of older people fooling around in bars. I'm not sure why. I can only figure that young people, for some reason, don't look as stupid when they fall off sofas drunk or nuzzle up to one another.
It's about beauty, plain and simple. It's about what we think is beautiful. Youth is beautiful, and shenanigans are cute. Age is beautiful only if it is sedate. Here's what I think about that:
!@#!!^&%(***!!!
Don't get me wrong; being sedate is fine, if you're tired, bored, or in church. But what about when you want to have some fun? Are we too ugly to be foolish and have some shenanigans?

Visualize: a twenty something says,
  • "Man, what a hangover."(funny. silly. cute. the kid can sow his wild oats!)
  • A sixty year old says, "Man what a hangover." (dreadful! act your age!)
Let me say for the record, the day I meet a twenty something that can out-drink me, I will become sedate. Lotsa luck, peewee!
  • The twenty something gyrates to music, is drunk, falls down. (Ha ha! Look at Billy! What an ass! wink!)
  • The sixty something gyrates to music is drunk, falls down. (Holy crap, grandpa! You should stick to your rocking chair!)
First of all, we boomers were the best dancers in history. We danced to Motown, man (what's that?) We danced to the best rhythm there ever was. And if we get drunk enough to fall down, give us a grin and help us up, snot nose!
  • the twenty something nuzzles up to a female. (snicker!)
  • the sixty something nuzzles up to a female. (Hog! Perv! Dirty old man!)
The sixty something's nuts still work, is there something wrong with that? And if he does take Viagra, watch out, he ain't gonna slam bam and pass out on you!
Listen to me: "old" is a state of mind that is rampant throughout the culture. Every one of us, young and old, has terrible, mean, life-killing stereotypes of what it means. So when "old" people act like young people, it is shocking, disgusting, ugly. But the truth is that inside every "old" person is a young person. Our bodies change and our skin sags, but our minds are the same, often better. We want the same things young people want. We want to get buzzed, we want to have fun in company, we want to flirt. It's time to drop the stereotype because it's just not true. Personally, when I go to a saloon and see my elders behaving badly, I think it's hilarious too, but in a good way. Bless their hearts. The ones I feel bad for are the sorry bastards in their rocking chairs.
  • a twenty something pukes in the parking lot. What a jerk.
  • a sixty something pukes in the parking lot. What a jerk.
Kids, we're way more similar than we are different. Give it up. As for capri pants, they look just as stupid on twenty somethings.

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