The world is crazier than most people know. But I know. I was a clinical social worker for forty years. I am a witness. I retired from social work to write about the sad, the mad, and the savage; with whom I have spent most of my life. I have decided to translate these stories into fiction, because, as a co-worker once said, "You couldn't make this sh*t up. No one would believe you."

Saturday, February 5, 2011

The Edits Are Done! The Ed*&^*!its Are Dun....

So when I got my edited manuscript back for my review, I emailed back and said I'd have it done in a week. Four weeks later, I'm almost done.

It is an editor's job to correct EVERYTHING so those beautiful intentionally run on sentences I used to describe intensity were filled with commas, word changes, and chopped into sensible sentences. Have you ever tried to delete a comma in a revision manuscript? It's like finding a pimple on a fruit fly's bottom and trying to squeeze it.

Three thousand nine hundred and fifty-eight commas later, not to mention the word changes and what-the-hell-does-that-mean comments, I'm almost ready to send the manuscript back along with the author photo and plug lines, and wait for the galleys. Whew. Actually publishing may feel anticlimactic.

Where to from here? Marketing, of course. A few thoughts:

  • If I pluck out an eyeball, will someone else do it for me?
  • When will I find the time?
  • What if I'm successful and get a bunch of radio and print interviews - when will I find the time?
  • Will I go nuts?
  • If I pee in the shower to save time, will I get horrid little worms in my bladder?(
  • Maybe it really will be easier to print the book promo on the bottom of my sneakers and walk across America.
  • When will I find the time?
Well, it's too late to duck out now. The book is done and I'm committed. Here's to some good luck, 'cause I'm gonna need it!


  1. Well, luck, maybe, because that's the way life is sometimes. But talent? NO, you've got plenty of that. Your book is thought provoking, empowering (for both men and women), well written in the laugh out loud sense, ironic, iconic, and just plain fun, and I want one of the first signed copies.

  2. Thanks for the ongoing encouragement! Collect those kudos, man...:)

  3. Hilarious, Janey! "A pimple on a fruit fly's bottom!" These last three or four posts of yours would've been enough to discourage Shakespeare from publishing. Glad you've got more gumption than him. Looks like you're in the race till the end. I'm confident your humor and high spirits will see you through, and that the lady in the photo will not be you..

  4. Totally LOVE your blog! So glad I visited which I did because after I read the title of this post on Blog Catalog (see there, it really does work!) I had to see what it was about. I'm doing the whole editing thing too...only I've not got a paid editor, just my mother, husband, and then of course, the firm of Me, Myself, and I (and geesh are they critical!) Yep---I'm going the self-publishing/Kindle-it way. (It'll either do well or bomb! But at least I can say 'I did it!')

    I love your advert's too hilarious and yet, oddly, intriguing!

    Much luck to you,
    L. Avery Brown