Seniors of the Future...(heh heh)
Chew on this: seventy-five year old woman. Or this: 75 year old man. What comes to mind?
Old bag. Old fart. Right? Well...
Here's one seventy five year old woman: I can dig it: she's o-o-o-ld, frail, wrinkled, sagged, fogged; she farts in public and you can steal her purse like taking candy from a baby. Poor thing.
Here's one 78 year old man: Yeah, he's older than dirt, his muscles are like tissue paper, if it wasn't for his walker he'd be a Cleanup on Aisle 3, he farts in public, and you could knock him over with a feather. Poor thing.
FUTURE CHANGES: Ready? ....check it out:
Here's another 75 year old woman: Oh yeah, it's true. She goes to the gym 5 days a week because she can (retirement - yes!!), maybe she had a facelift who cares, she swims like a dolphin and doesn't give a crap what anyone thinks. When she farts in public it's a silent but deadly job from the beer she drank last night and the only way you know it was her is by her wicked smile.
And here's another 75 year old man:
He goes to the gym too, just to get his ya ya's out. He hikes and climbs the mountain trail faster than his dogs, who have come to hate him. He can bench 300 and farts when he squats 400, with a wicked smile on his face. He drinks beer for breakfast and eats steak for lunch and doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks.
So, here's the question: which is the old fart or fartette of the future?
If we're all going to live a l-o-o-o-ng time...I vote for Option 2. For one thing, I can relate. I'm sixty-five, yet:
- I can bench 110 and leg press 260
- and run a 10 minute mile
- just because I like to, and besides it feeds my head
- I drink like a sailor and swear like a trooper
- because I don't give a damn what anyone thinks
- and as for my farts....
- use your imagination.