The world is crazier than most people know. But I know. I was a clinical social worker for forty years. I am a witness. I retired from social work to write about the sad, the mad, and the savage; with whom I have spent most of my life. I have decided to translate these stories into fiction, because, as a co-worker once said, "You couldn't make this sh*t up. No one would believe you."

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Complaints!

Life has its dissatisfactions. Here are some of mine:

When I was born, I did NOT get perfect skin. It's been a struggle ever since.

On my sixtieth birthday, I got a belly roll. Even though it's fun to play with in times of stress, I don't like it.

I do not have enough money. That's because I live in a beautiful older home that needs constant repairs. This house has set up a firewall protected direct line to my savings account and the steady drip is worse than a social disease, but less curable.


I am not famous yet. Wait---I would rather be dead than famous; what I mean is, my book is not famous yet. (this is a testament to my neurosis, the damn thing isn't even published yet)

My house STILL refuses to clean itself.

I think my hair is thinning. I find almost as much in the sink as on my head.

The world is still crazy, Republicans still own everything, people are still suckers, and my dog still runs away even WITH a radio fence, the little turd.

ON THE PLUS SIDE, I am thankful that:
  • I'm breathing
  • There's a little bit left in the brandy bottle
  • my husband said he'd make supper tonight
  • my house is not on fire
  • my dog came home
  • the foot of snow we got is finally melting
  • so we have running water again, hallelujah
  • the Packers won the Super Bowl
  • and it's sunny outside.
I feel better now. Sometimes it just helps to get it off your chest, you know what I mean?

6 comments:

  1. Love your humor and how you look on the bright side of life. Besides, I got my belly roll on my 30iest birthday so stop complaing, will ya ;-) !

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  2. Oh sigh; sounds like situation normal. Except my dog does not run away with a radio collar; he runs away with other dogs. By the way: who the hell are the Packers? And what is "clean house?"

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  3. Terrific post. I, too, am not technically 'published' yet...but in my head, I'm already signing books! (One must have one's dreams otherwise how will we know when they come true?) Glad to hear you're still breathing--makes that whole living thing so much easier (besides only Smurfs may look good in total body blue) Nice to hear the sun has been smiling on you (makes all those old house woes less annoying, doesn't it?)

    You always give me a good chuckle! Keep it up!

    Avery

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  4. I simply love your attacks, the way you translate emotions into something realistic but funny. You might have those belly rolls but i could sense your character keeps that youth in you. Take care always

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  5. @ Birgit, at 30? You're right, I AM rushing to judgment here.
    @ Lian: what do you mean, who are the Packers?
    @Avery, thanks for the support! :)
    @Earlie, slow down there. It's just one belly roll at this time, don't rush me! :)

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  6. Love your droll humor. Every sentence contains a smile. You say you're still breathing, and it's sunny outside-hey, even the Republicans can't do better than that.

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