She was maybe thirty-five, cute as a button. Trying on a pair of overalls in the dressing room of a department store and asks me, “Is this too kid-ish for me?”
It was a joke, right? That’s not anti-aging, it’s pro-aging. Is there some cutoff point when you have to start dressing according to your age? What in God’s name would that look like, after 55?
- House dresses with enough kleenex in the pockets to service an entire second grade class with the flu
- Bedroom slippers that flop so loud dogs bark
- Plastic purses full of more stuff than the Las Vegas city dump
- Weird plaids that make you disappear in most landscapes
- For women, pants beneath their bellies
- For men, pants beneath their armpits
- Strange shades of pink that startle the dead
- Floral patterns that make children cry
- Shapeless clothing into which you could fit yourself, six children, fifteen car bombs or three cases of cheap whiskey.
wear T-shirts and jeans. I dress about the same as my daughters, judging by the missing articles of my clothing that turn up in their closets and vice versa.
The first person that tries to put me in a mumu will die painfully. I still
Sometimes I see white haired people dressing like they just got up or are about to lie down. How sad. They wear their dowdy clothes like a badge of age: old age, not to be confused with maturity, as seen in elders who boogie on.
They say, “clothes make the man.” If that’s true, then part of staying youthful is the way we dress. Dowdy clothes, clothes made of weird unnatural materials, clothes we could fit a second body into….these are the kinds of clothes to wear when you’re dead. For now, healthy anti-aging means wearing what is comfortable, style-less so that it passes for stylish, easy care, and lets you move freely…because if you’re forever kinda young, you’ll need some dancing room.