The world is crazier than most people know. But I know. I was a clinical social worker for forty years. I am a witness. I retired from social work to write about the sad, the mad, and the savage; with whom I have spent most of my life. I have decided to translate these stories into fiction, because, as a co-worker once said, "You couldn't make this sh*t up. No one would believe you."

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Anger Feels Good, But Makes You Age...Very Quickly....



Anger feels good at the moment, but in the long run, it really sucks.

Consider the damage to your anti-aging plan:

  • Increased cortisol. Cortisol makes you fat and gives you a nasty hump on your back.
  • High blood pressure. The longer you’re mad, the shorter you’ll live.
  • Depressed immune system. Just after you toss spit into someone’s face, they yell back and toss it in yours. Good luck with that.
  • Liver and kidney damage. You may as well drink a fifth every night, it’s more fun.
  • Increased heart attack risk. If you think a stranger will do CPR and save you, forget it. You probably pissed him off.
If you want to stay forever young, if you want to look ageless, if you're serious about anti-aging,
give up the rage. To be sure, a little anger (more like outrage) is an engine that drives bunches of good stuff: positive social change, finally cleaning the house, letters to the editor, and so on. But many of us are perpetually pissed off and send our longevity plans straight into the commode:

  • The line is too long.
  • I feel like hell.
  • Look like it, too.
  • I’m broke.
  • The line still hasn’t moved.
  • All drivers on earth but me are assholes.
  • I’m still broke.
  • And the *&!!#! line is stuck in time!
There are many methods for controlling your anger. My favorite is: change how you think. When a bona fide asshole cuts you off in traffic, understand that it’s because he has a small penis. When you remember you’re broke, feel like finally you fit in. When the line is too long, imagine everyone in it naked.
And if you feel like hell and think you look like hell too, start planning your anti-aging campaign in your head. Browse the web and look at all the before and after pix. Understand that you can take your anger out on a treadmill, and the side effects are just plain wonderful.

9 comments:

  1. totally agree.. nice post, i do have anger issues before.. and a bit sometimes now... :))

    jst that my body is over protective of self and brushes of whenever someone wants to attack my emotions or something :))

    sigh, positive thinking indeed.

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  2. So true!!! Frustration and Money troubles always trigger those pangs of fury..Best to see the positives in all..when you are broke, think that phew! you don't have money to waste...when in a f^^^(*&( line, think about all the people behind you...when in traffic, sing a song and test your crooning skills...call a pal...read the paper..find a friend in the nearby car!! hmm..I gotta try that! Nice post...

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  3. Anger also distorts your face and causes frown lines but patience takes years of practice, another reason to be glad of maturity.

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  4. @ Toni: keep up the good fight, girl. Whenever you feel attacked, stare hard at the person and imagine him/her naked. Don't laugh too hard, though, you may get smacked.
    @Fiducia, you got the message, right on! Think your way out of it!
    @Lian: well, I can't really say I'm patient, but at least I have a wild imagination, and I can just say no to those frown lines!

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  5. I've learned to laugh everything off. Laughing at life's foibles rather than getting all pissed off.

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  6. Great post! I tend to get unnecessarily angry at unimportant things. I have bad road rage, but it's something I'm working on. I'm trying not to be as angry in general because it makes me feel like crap, and I hate feeling like crap. I hate feeling like a horrible person to be around if I'm constantly moody and irritable. I've gotten a lot better in the last few years. I think my current work place has loosened me up a lot. I'm not as shy as I used to be, and I think being a little more outgoing has helped me be less angry. But I could still go for some improvement.

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  7. Great post, as usual:)

    I'm dropping in to let you know that you're nominated for the "One Lovely Blog" award! You're welcome to pick it up at my blog's latest post:)

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  8. I've ever read this Idiom: "If you can control your anger, your age will be extended 10 x ...."

    wow...is that true? hahha..

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  9. @NP: I always thank God several times a day for my sense of humor. If you don't laugh, you may cry...or get pissed off.
    @Lauren Michelle: good work so far! Remedies for anger: see the humor in it. I have a rage response whenever I stub my toe or hit my head...lately I try to laugh at myself, think of new cuss words and laugh at those. I can hear my arteries rejoicing already!
    @Heart: hey, thanks! I'll be right over!
    @Jasmine: I LOVE it!

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