Let's talk about calorie restriction. Since 1935, it has been a hot topic for research. Back then Dr. Clive McCay found that giving mice 30% less food than their brethren resulted in 40% longer lifespans. Then Dr. Roy Walford, a pathologist, dedicated his life to eating less in order to live longer. Sadly, we'll never know how that one turned out since he died of Lou Gehrig's in 2004.
But there's a lot of evidence that it works. Eat less, live longer.
Some years ago I read an article about a guy practicing calorie restriction. He looked like a concentration camp victim and had to carry a pillow with him at all times because his ass was so skinny he was sitting on his bones. Of this malady, he said, "No big deal." Is he kidding? Sitting on your ass bones just to live another few years? This is what it amounts to:
- when you're hungry, forget about it.
- when you're stressed, stay that way. No chocolate, no booze.
- when they don't make clothes small enough for you, stay home and go naked. You won't have the energy to go anywhere anyhow.
- when you obsess about food, think of those extra years you're gonna have...
- ...sitting on your ass bones.
I would rather pluck my eyes out and eat them than practice calorie restriction. As a matter of fact, if I did calorie restriction, I probably would pluck my eyes out and eat them.
- start with your hair, it's harder to swallow and keeps you busy longer.
- move onto your fingers. Think of how much you'll save at the nail parlor.
- toes...who needs 'em? Walk on your heels.
- ....this could get pretty gross so I'll stop here.
Well, here's to the hunt for some other way to live longer. I'm still waiting for proof that chocolate does the trick.