Says Jane of the Jungle: "You'd better laugh or you'll croak too soon. Stay on the upside of the downside: don't be in a hurry to get old. Have adventures, behave badly, don't give a fart or a hurrah what the world thinks of you, and slide over the finish line with a sh*t eating grin."

Friday, October 21, 2011

Poor But Happy!

Well, it’s been a week and I’m still poor. I checked to see if my house went up in value and it went down. I checked to see if my retirement account made any money and one mutual fund lost 67 cents and another made 4 cents. There’s only 9,000 in there anyhow, so honestly, what difference does it make?

But I’m happy.

  • ·      Because I don’t have to worry about keeping up with fashion. I can make a statement in my torn jeans and stained T-shirts.
  • ·      Because I don’t have to worry about keeping ammo in my gun. All the militia nuts bought it up anyhow.
  • ·      Because I don’t have to worry about eating much. I’m overweight, this will be good for me!
  • ·      Because I’m going to retire from nothing into nothing, and it’ll be a smooth transition!
  • ·      Because I won’t be able to buy beauty supplies or dye my hair or get a facelift, so I will look like a little old lady.
  • ·      And that will make shoplifting easier!

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