Says Jane of the Jungle: "You'd better laugh or you'll croak too soon. Stay on the upside of the downside: don't be in a hurry to get old. Have adventures, behave badly, don't give a fart or a hurrah what the world thinks of you, and slide over the finish line with a sh*t eating grin."

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Anger Feels Good, But Makes You Age...Very Quickly....



Anger feels good at the moment, but in the long run, it really sucks.

Consider the damage to your anti-aging plan:

  • Increased cortisol. Cortisol makes you fat and gives you a nasty hump on your back.
  • High blood pressure. The longer you’re mad, the shorter you’ll live.
  • Depressed immune system. Just after you toss spit into someone’s face, they yell back and toss it in yours. Good luck with that.
  • Liver and kidney damage. You may as well drink a fifth every night, it’s more fun.
  • Increased heart attack risk. If you think a stranger will do CPR and save you, forget it. You probably pissed him off.
If you want to stay forever young, if you want to look ageless, if you're serious about anti-aging,

Monday, June 20, 2011

Just a Thought....

I have decided to do new mini-posts in between rants posts. My mind, which is a sore trial even to me, is constantly abuzz with passing thoughts, such as:

Mature women are considered sexy in Europe. Why do I live here?

Friday, June 17, 2011






Take Immortality ...  and Shove It


Because I make war on aging, some people accuse me of wanting to live forever. Let me be clear:

F--- THAT. I would hate to live forever. Movies where the villain is trying to live forever are stupid. Living forever is what you do in hell. Imagine:

  • You would endure life’s insulting jokes for eternity.
  • You would be married to the same person for thousands of years. Even the Catholic Church would have to think about that one.
  • You would have to do a search on the world’s mega computer for something new to do, and it would come up empty.
  • Your children would bitch at you forever. And ever.
  • You know that savage old fart neighbor of yours that makes you pray every time you see an ambulance on the block, “Please, God, let it be him?’ Forget it. He’s staying. Forever.
  • It will be your five thousandth, nine hundred and fifty third Christmas. What do you get for the shmuck who has everything?
  • You would clean the house until it fell down, then get a new house and start over.
  • You would scrub toilets for millennia.



I just want to live well. I want to be middle aged until I croak. That is entirely different. Try a Life 2.0 lifespan: