To be a Republican you have to be rich or stupid. So many people believe they are one or the other that the Party had to make up a qualifying test:
1. How much money do you have? If it’s less than 20 million, send it in.
2. Do you have a portfolio? (If you don’t understand this question, please go directly to the Tea Party subsection)
3. What kind of cars do you drive? Pick from the following (you’d better pick more than one!) a) Lexus b) Lamborghini c) Jaguar d) BMW with leather seats e) Cadillac (loaded only)
4. Describe your yacht.
5. How many facelifts has your wife had? a) one b) two or more c) I can’t remember, but her face is on top of her head
6. What size breast augmentation has your mistress had? a) D b) DD c) DDD e) they don’t make bras that big
7. How many